Cutting

Hullo humanoids. As you can tell from the title this post is a bit of a serious one. And it's going to be a lot harder to write than any of my other posts. But this is something that I need to talk about so therefore I will. And I'm just going to say it straight away. I cut. A lot. My legs are covered in scars and I hate it. I hate it so much but I can't stop. It's an addiction. And in this post I'm going to talk about my personal struggle with it.

People cut for a variety of reasons. Most cutters suffer from depression. They cut because it helps them not feel so numb. Some cut because they hate themselves and how they look. I personally cut as a form of self punishment. When I hurt those I care about I punish myself by adding a few more scars to my collection. Or sometimes I'll cut because I've found that it helps calm my anxiety. I started several months ago and I've tried  to stop many times since then but sadly I have yet to beat this addiction. Though hopefully one day my scars will be able to fade without any new ones taking their place.

But enough about me. I have some things to say to you guys. To those of you reading this. And this is the most important part of this post.

To those of you out there who cut, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry life has brought you to that point. But it's not a hopeless struggle. This is something you can beat and I believe in you. You are beautiful. And I'm praying for all of you cutters out there. I love you guys and I pray that things will get better for you.

To those of you who are tempted to start cutting I have one word for you. Don't. Once you start it's hard to stop. There's never only one time. So just don't take a blade to your skin. I know things may be hard for you but it isn't hopeless. You can beat whatever it may be that you're struggling with. I believe in you and I'm praying for you too. There's a better way of dealing with life than scarring yourselves. You're more beautiful than you think.

To those of you who know people who cut, go hug them and tell them that you love them. Don't accuse them of doing it for attention. People who cut don't cut because they want attention. If they wanted attention they wouldn't hide their scars. People who cut are people who are hurt and struggling. They need love. So give it to them. Show them you care. Tell them they're beautiful. Don't ignore them. And don't worry, I'm praying for you people too. I love you guys and I hope you show those with scars some love too.


That's all I have to say on the matter at the moment. I hope this post has helped at least some of you out there. If you wish to share your own struggles with cutting then comment below. I love you guys.

Insomnia

Hullo humanoids. As I have mentioned in previous posts I have insomnia. Insomnia is a sleeping disorder that makes it difficult or impossible to fall asleep no matter how exhausted you may be. I'm writing this post in the hopes of explaining what it's like to have insomnia. I'm a writer so therefore I wrote a short story that describes what my insomnia is like. Though I must note that not everyone experiences insomnia in the same way as I do. This is just a description of what its personally like for me. 

So here's the story:

You're exhausted. You worked hard all day at school or work and you feel as if you'll pass out as soon as your head hits the pillow. So you head to bed ready for sleep to take you.

You lay down and close your eyes, awaiting the well needed rest. But as time passes you just start to feel more awake. You can't keep your eyes closed. That task of simply closing your eyes seems impossible. You stare at the wall wishing sleep would come. You toss and turn with your mind is reeling with thoughts and ideas.

Time passes. You're not exactly sure how much time but it's been about an hour or so. Nothing has changed so you decide to do something. Maybe you just need to wear yourself out a little more. So you start to read or maybe check Facebook.

It doesn’t take long. After a few minutes you feel as if someone pulled the plug on your energy. You lay back down in hopes that you'll be able to sleep now but no rest comes. You try to read again but anything requiring mental energy is difficult despite the fact that you feel as if you're wide awake when you lay in bed.

Eventually you get up and start pacing or maybe doing some exercising. You continue this until you're sore before returning to bed. You feel a little tired now but you still can't fall asleep. It's nearly 3am now.

You don't know what else to do so you just stare at your ceiling. You're thinking about everything and anything. It doesn't matter you just need something to think so you don’t go insane from the stillness of the night.

Eventually things become a little fuzzy. You can close your eyes now but you still aren't really tired. Time passes and you start to fade….

You wake up at 7am. Despite how little you slept you feel wide awake. You try to go back to sleep but you can’t. After fruitlessly trying to fall back asleep for awhile you decide to just face the day. You get out of bed and hope that sleep comes the next night.

That is my personal experience with insomnia. I hope that this post has helped you understand what it's like have insomnia. For those of you who have also dealt with insomnia comment below with your experiences.